Part 1: Personal Belief System and Reading Models
Reading Belief System Philosophy Paper “Now, read the story.” My first grade teacher, Ms. Edwards towers over me as I look at the book placed in front of me. Even though I love books, am read to each night by my mother or father, and have a home library filled to the brim, I feel a sense of anxiety. I know Ms. Edwards is searching for something in particular in asking me to read. Coming from parents who were both teachers, I was surrounded by books. Reading was a daily part of my life. If my older sister and I found we had downtime, we would often pick up a book. Our bedtime routine was reserved for reading stories, I will never forget my mother reading Junie B. Jones to me as she laughed hysterically, tears rolling down her face, at the words printed in the book. The sheer joy that my parents also experienced in reading to my sister and me greatly influenced the way in which I perceived reading. Reading was enjoyable, to be relished and shared. Now, as Ms. Edwards stared down at me, reading did not seem so light-hearted. I could hear my mother’s voice in my head, “Just look at the pictures and make up a story!” This is how I read as a first-grader, and I had no concerns that this was incorrect or that I was behind my fellow peers. As I began to read the pictures, Ms. Edwards’s facial expression changed from one of expectation to disappointment. I could sense her disapproval though I was not sure why. At the end of my first grade year, Ms. Edwards spoke up about this moment, rather she shared ''this moment in front our my entire class. I recall her poking fun at the way in which I “read,” saying that she had no clue where I was gathering the story I was telling. Years later, when I went on to become a teacher myself; I realized the shame in which she made me feel was unjust. And in fact, reading the pictures is a powerful emergent literacy skill. I was identifying with a top-down model, and, against Ms. Edwards’s judgments, this model worked for me. I used my prior knowledge of reading to decode the graphics in the book (Vacca, 2018). I recall using this strategy when I started to make letter-sound correspondence as well. This strategy was effective for me and built my confidence as a reader when I was given the grace and space to learn at my own pace. It took me years after my first grade year to enjoy reading. I cannot help but think that this experience had played a role in my avoidance of reading for pleasure. My parents, never pushy, continued to encourage me, though. They encouraged me to search for books I enjoyed reading and suggesting I read before bed, finding a time for myself. When I entered fifth grade, reading still was not on the forefront of my leisure activities. My fifth grade teacher, however, showed me that writing was a passion of mine. I look back on my fifth grade year and recall writing, writing and writing; and I loved every second of it. Writing reignited my love for reading, as it gave me a reason to search for books that gave me ideas and that fostered my “creative juices.” I filled journals and pages with fiction stories. I did not stop writing after fifth grade. In fact, I still, to this day, keep a journal that I write in daily. As I got older, I began to seek out books with characters that reminded me of myself. I read about “third-culture kids,” the history of Okinawa (the home in which I grew up in), and places I wanted to travel to. I found genres I enjoyed, I found bedtime was my time to immerse myself in these places and feelings. I am ever grateful that I redeemed myself from my initial reading experiences. I thank my parents and my older sister, all avid readers, for providing a model of what loving to read looks like. Now, I teach preschool for child with disabilities. My professional growth goals almost always align with emergent reading and writing. I have “reading groups,” in my class just to encourage and foster early literacy skills. I ask my students to touch the words, the pictures, and the title. My students and I talk about book features, like the cover and the spine. We learn how to hold a book right side up, how to track with our fingers, and predict by looking at the pictures. When my students make a connection, of any sort, we celebrate. Perhaps this is my biggest takeaway, that in each step of learning to read, teachers and students need to celebrate. In hindsight, I thank all of my reading experiences growing up. These experiences showed me how to be a loving and encouraging educator. Bibliography Vacca, J. A., Vacca, R. T., Gove, M. K., Burkey, L. C., Lenhart, L. A., & McKeon, C. A. (2018). ''Reading and learning to read. Boston: Pearson.